In the spirit of UYLF, I also decided to make an Autoclamp compilation of sorts. With over 150 songs on this site, it’s become a challenge to sort through the growing Autoclamp song collection. I picked my sentimental favorites, and you can check it out here: Five Years of Confirmed Fears: Selected Songs 2004-2009.

Thanks for checking in!

Whatever your ability, you owe it to yourself to check out www.fawm.org. Drop in and say hi to Scott O. Clamp and Bri N. Clamp!

Finished at last with a overwhelming sensation of Umbrage!

Thanks for following along this year. Autoclamp appreciates your support!

Lyrics:

Umbrage!
I’ve never been so offended in my whole life
I can’t believe you said those things about me
I can’t believe you want to press ahead without me

Shocker!
I’ve been comfortable for so long
Once I might have been prepared
But now you’ve caught me unaware and

If you have felt that way so long
Then why not speak to me?
If even on your mind for a minute
Who better to help? Who better equipped to see?

Umbrage!
I can’t think of anything else
My mind is focued on betrayal
And what I read in the morning mail

Outrage!
We’re dividing friends by the hour
Who of mine can I reach first?
Whose story now will make the worst?

If you have felt that way so long
Then why not speak to me?
If even on your mind for a minute
Who better to help? Who better equipped to see?

Umbrage!
Shocker!
Umbrage!
Outrage!

A gently refurbished 50/90 song represents November: The Long Fade.

It’s a love song, and it’s completely non-fictional. This makes it an anomaly in the Autoclamp catalog.

Lyrics:

I’m fascinated by the long fade
The slow, leisurely promenade
We’ve been friends for so long now

I’m eager to let this all unfold
And every last story we told
Underlined all of the ways how

You were meant to watch my decline
I was meant to hope you’d trade
A minute of yours for a minute of mine
As we arc the long, long fade

I’m okay with the scenic way
And if I can’t recall a day
I know that you will mark it if needed

Fortune followed every move
You’d think we knew just what we’d lose
But it was just a faint hunch that we’d heeded

You were meant to watch my decline
I was meant to hope you’d trade
A minute of yours for a minute of mine
As we arc the long, long fade

A simultaneous ode to loneliness and to two great movie studios on different continents, October’s belated song-of-the-month is called Toho and Ealing.

I’ve been kicking this one around since at least April.

Lyrics:

I spent an evening with Toho and Ealing
To try and find a way to disprove the feeling
I’ve never really been this lonely before
I tell myself that soon you’d appear at the door

The radio is hardly receiving
The papers tell me things that aren’t worth believing
If I could afford to I’d drink it away
But the landlord took his share earlier today

So why not roll that movie again?
Where Alec Guinness hatches a foolproof plan
Why not spend a few hours hoping that
Toshiro Mifune will get his man, yeah?

I spent an evening with Toho and Ealing
One eye on the screen, and one on the ceiling
How many hours has it actually been?
Who is going to care if I watch this one again?

I’m tired of being the one who is needing
To find a way to keep my heart from constantly bleeding
Cause I only wanted to do as I pleased
And now I know how little room one man needs

So why not roll that movie again?
Where Alec Guinness hatches a foolproof plan
Why not spend a few hours hoping that
Toshiro Mifune will get his man, yeah?

So why not pick up that phone again?
Why not play right into my plan?
Why not spend a few short hours thinking that
The one who slipped away was meant to be your man, yeah?

In a mad dash to the finish of 2008, here’s a reworked 50/90 song called Patsy Tipton.

I’d like to do this again someday with a more on-point vocal and a less egregiously weird solo, but that’s the kind of thinking that got me into this situation in the first place (i.e., posting the September song in December).

Lyrics:

Patsy Tipton
What are you still doing here?
We made our solemn promises
We sealed them with two pints of beer

But here you are, so I must say
I thought you’d be well on your way
I’m sure to get an earful now
For causing this delay

Patsy Tipton
I thought my words were pretty clear
I used to love you
And I just cannot have you near

But here you sit, and I surmise
My fiancee would be surprised
To see you holding my hand here
My story compromised

I’d take it back now if I could
My last birthday in the park
Yeah we were drunk and it got dark
Patsy Tipton

She thinks I’ve spent each day since
Tryin’ to make amends
I’m sure she doesn’t know
The love letters I’ve sent

But I’ve made her wait for far too long now
It’s time for you to run along now
I’ve made too many promises
My follow-through is clearly not too strong

I’d take it back now if I could
My last birthday in the park
Yeah we weren’t that drunk when it got dark
Patsy Tipton

But here you are, so I must say
I might just join you on your way
I don’t want to get an earful now
About where I’ve been on my wedding day

I wouldn’t take it back now if I could
My last birthday in the park
Yeah I saw so clearly when it got dark
My dear Patsy Tipton

There will be a fall FAWM Midwest Songwriters Showcase on Saturday, September 6th from 7 to 11 p.m at Ginko Coffeehouse in St. Paul. This great show will feature Traitor Mouse, Missile Wings, Static Captain, Dapple Throat, Todd Norem, T-Spoon, as well as your good friends in Autoclamp. The show is free to the public! Thanks to Eric Distad of Traitor Mouse for putting this together.

Hope to see you there!

If Basia Bulat came to guide us into spring, and these kooks were here to take care of our summer needs, then the Walkmen have arrived to usher in autumn with a powerful new album. I could listen to this song over and over. In fact, I just did.

If the above tune appeals to you, do yourself a favor and check out their full-length You & Me. Well worth the price of admission.

The August song-of-the-month is a re-recording of my 50 Songs in 90 Days song called Portmanteau.

The comment I made about this song in July, when it was written: I thought this made a tidy metaphor for a relationship where two people lose a little of themselves to form something new. Of course, run through my songwriting filter, they’re doomed.

Lyrics for Portmanteau:

Portmanteau
A perfect combination at the perfect time
I cannot recall life before it
Still, I must draw a line

Your new beau
Doesn’t match with you the way I did
I cannot recall life before it
I cling to the few things still mine

We moved as two, and we spoke like one
Who’s meant to find its other half in some
Rain-soaked garden on the perfect day

We became two and so many say
You can still find us in the Dictionary
If you can still spell if you can say

Portmanteau
A perfect match strolling on down the lane
Balconies could not ignore us
We drew eyes as we passed

Did you know?
None of them now will give me the time
I’m a directionless ghost
I might have known it couldn’t last

We moved as two, we spoke like one
Who’d never once beheld a new rising sun
Until it broke through one day most unexpected

Now it never seems as though
I’d ever seen the rising sun after all
I know now it was only the light just reflected

Off of you
Portmanteau
Portmanteau

This rough tune is song number eight for my 2008 50 Songs in 90 Days. It’s called Flowchart Symphony.

This song may be about rumor control. I don’t really know. Maybe the lyrics will help?

Flowchart Symphony

Here’s your thought for the day
I hid and made you a flowchart symphony
It turned out just like I thought it would
It was me to you and him to her and her to me

Here’s your thought for the day
I became all the things you couldn’t be
The mirror doesn’t look the way it should
It was me to you and now I think it’s killing me

Passing germs like a water fountain
A shot of you falling off that mountain
Why do I keep these things in my book?
Why do I do keep these things at all?

Here’s your thought for the day
I hid and made you a flowchart symphony
I tried almost everything I could
I was mold and guilt and multi-organ atrophy

Here’s your thought for the day
I went and saw all the things you couldn’t see
It turned out just like I thought it would
It was me to you and him to her and her to me

Passing germs like a water fountain
A shot of you falling off that mountain
Why do I keep these things in my book?
Why do I do keep these things at all?

It was me to you and him to her and her to me x5